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ATIDUOKIT MANO PINIGUS! IŠSIPŪSKIT SAVO NOSIS!

Warning: du dideli ir beprasmiai paburbėjimai ahead (c) IceBlue

Pirmas.

Aš šiandien laukiu savo pinigų. Ir man nesvarbu, ką ten aiškina SEB
support’as, kad “operacijos laikas normalus, jokių nukrypimų nėra,
lėšos bus pervestos artimiausiu metu”. Mielieji, jei jums krizė, ar ten
kokia kitokia **zė, tai prašom nestumti į ją ir manęs. Nes kitaip
skambinsiu, kol visi tie, kur ten pas jus pakėlinėja ragelius, pažinos
mane iš balso. Ir man dzin, kad tie jūsų pokalbiai įrašinėjami ;)

Va, išsiliejau, o dabar paaiškinimas. Jau kuris laikas visi pavedimai
man užtrunka bent dieną ilgiau, nei įprastai. Nežinau, ar aš pas SEBą į
VIP, ar į juoduosius sąrašus patekau, bet jie ryškiai užlaiko mano
bapkes. Nu aš suprantu, aišku, kad jiems ten naudinga, ir kad tos
bapkės, kol ateina iš kažkur pas mane, dar prasisuka per pusę pasaulio
ir užkala jiems kokio 0,0000x procento ir aš dar jiems už visokius
pavedimus susimoku, bet pastarieji du atvejai mane tiesiog pribaigė. Aš
kenčiau, kai bapkės pastarajį mėnesį mane ėmė pasiekti diena vėliau.
Bet tai kiek galima, žiūrėkit:

  • situazione numero uno - man pervedė bapkes iš SwedBanko
    pirmadienį. Spėjamas pavedimo laikas - po pietų. Gavimo laikas,
    remiantis praktika ir skaičiavimais, turėtų būti antradienis. Nu ok, jei ten jie mirko spurgas į kavą ir neprisiruošia paspaust vieno buttono, tai trečiadienį. Šiuo
    metu, t.y. ketvirtadienio rytą, apie pusę šešių ryto, pas mane bapkių dar
    nė kvapo.
  • situazione numero due - išsiunčiau bapkes sau į sąskaitą iš
    MoneyBookers penktadienį. I know, I know, savaitgalis and stuff, todėl
    penktadienio pavedimai daromi pirmadienį, so, aš bapkes turiu
    antradienį. Primenu, kad šiuo metu yra ketvirtadienis, apie pusė šešių
    ryto. Bapkių, aišku, nėra.

Tai kas per… ? Man reikia ruoštis Briuselin, tai negaliu net
kirpyklos užsibookint, nes nežinau, kada gausiu savo bapkes. Verslui irgi ne pyragai, aišku. Pravalas. Aš sakau ne aš grasinu - jei šiandien po pietų dar nieko nebus, vėl skambinsiu į
support’ą ir apsimesiu ir varysiu kaip žiauriai griežta, rimta, iškalbinga ir
visokia kitokia pavojinga boba su kiaušiais ;) Nors ne, jei atsilieps
tas Artūras, tai pakalbėsiu fainai ;D

***

Antras.

Žmonės, pirkit nosines. Gal dar ne tokia krizė, kad nėr vieno lito
atliekamo? O jei jau taip, tai pasikuiskit pas močiutes spintose, gal
dar rasit tų tokių sovietinių medžiaginių languotų nosinių. Arba at
least nepriklausomybės aušros mados klyksmo - kiniškų plonųjų nosinyčių
su gėlytėm ir kvarbuotais kraštukais ;) I just don’t care - tik turėkit
nosinių ir išsipūskit nosis, jei jau šaltukas prigriebė.

Nes dabar, įsėdus trūlikan, mane ima pykinti nuo šniurkščiojimo
kakofonijos:

…bobulytės daro šniurkšt šiurkšt, taip greitai greitai ir
dažnai…

…vaikai susitraukia viską atgal rečiau, bet garsiau, kai tik
pajunta, kad tuoj neteks tų brangiųjų skysčių…

…seniai diedai su pasmėgavimu ir
pasiburbuliavimais neleidžia pabėgt snargliams iš nosies….

…nu ir dar visokie kitokie nesuklasifikuojami pasisnargliavimai.

Oi, neperspėjau valgantiems neskaityti, sorry ;)

Ir žodžiu taip skamba visas trulikas, aš dalinuosi užjaučiamais ir
palaikomaisiais žvilgsniais su tais keliais žmonėm, kuriems, kaip man, kyla
viršun pusryčiai, bet galiu tik pasigarsinti ausines. Jei nepalikau jų
namie…

Iš pradžių norėjosi siūlyti visiems nosinę. Susilaikydavau. Man ne itin
patinka socialaizintis trulikuose. O dar nuo kokios piktos bobos ar
naglo treninguočio ir galvon gaučiau. Arba bent pasiūlymą tokį ;)

Dar bandžiau naglai spoksoti į garsiausius. Nepadėjo.

Tačiau gėris mane jau apleido ir pasyvių sprendimų idėjos neateina.
Paskutiniuoju metu mane aplanko tik agresyvūs ir itin smurtiniai
vaizdai. Pvz, aš su bazuka ir su pasimėgavimu išpyškinu visus
snargliuočius lauk ir palaimingai nuvažiuoju iki darbo pajuodusiu
truliku be langų. Tuo pačiu atsikratau ir smirdalių, ir kvepalų
manijakų ir Landsbergį/Brazauską/etc. šlovinančių diedukų, ir vietos
prašančių vos bekrutančių bobučių ;) Die, stupidity, die ;) Nu ok, tą
dieduką kur groja su armonika, tai palikčiau ;)

Aš nesileisiu nagrinėti priežasčių tokiam lietuvių elgesiui (jos turbūt
slypi anapus logikos ir sveiko proto ribų), aš tik prašau - dalinkitės
nosinėm, pūskite nosis, švieskite kaimynus ir draugus, ir jokiu būdu
nešniurkščiokit. Tai šlykštu. Nu tikrai.

Ar jau čia šalia vonios šveitimo asociacijos reiks kurti kokią visuomenės savitarpio pagalbos grupę sergantiems sloga? ;)

Conclusion. Atiduokit mano bapkes. Išsipūskit savo nosis.
Over.

Rodyk draugams

Komentarai (369)

  1. Subjektyvi:

    Dabar bankams labai reikia pinigų, tad nieko nuostabaus, kad tu jų negauni kaip priklauso. Toliau bus dar "chrenoviau" :/ Bankomatai taip pat labai dažnai "neveikia". Kažkada rašiau - perspėjau apie tai. V.ž. grynieji dabar yr labai didelis gėris..

  2. snargliuojasi tai dar snargliuojasi, bet kiti dar ir krenkščia!!! ir spjaudosi į šalis! o yra tokių bobulių, kurios atsikrenkščia, pačepsi ir nuryja!!!

    skaunaus visiems, tikrai:)

  3. yeah! va taip! must die!

    paziaukciojau skaitydama.. gerai kad tik arbata geriu ((:

    galiu tave nuramint kad ne tik lietuviai sniurkscioja. va uz 30 minuciu eisiu i paskaita kur uz manes sedes barzdotas pakistanietis kuris sniurkscioja jau nuo spalio menesio turbut, BVEH (:

    su pinigais tai mistika, galiu tik uzjaust (:

  4. Redvel:

    Subjektyvi, aš tai suprantu, kad jiem trūksta, bet man irgi trūksta. Aš čia greit pabaigsiu tas nesąmones ;)

    Viktorija, Shiny, ačiū nors už paguodą.
    Reik pasirodo ne iniciatyvinės grupės Lietuvoje, o tarptautinio kovinio fronto. Galėtų vadintis, pvz "Prieš snarglius" :D

  5. Ausinukas ausyse, negirdžiu nei kas snargliojasi ar dar ką :)

  6. Nulaužtasparnis:

    Taip, su pinigais nesmagu.. Sunkia nuo mūsų pinigų kiekvieną centą. Juk krizė, o kas ją pradėjo dabar matyt, kaip inkstai. Ne, ne taukuose vartosi, o matyt kruvini, nes suspardyti.. O moneybookerių operatorės tokius fainus balsus turi..
    Dėl šniurpščiojimo, tai taip. Lyg bacilų ore mažai būtų. Jie kartais tektų vienu viešuoju transportu važiuoti, tai prašau įspėti, kad tai Jūs, kad kartais nepakilčiau į orą..
    Bet kokiu atveju sėkmės.

  7. CorPus, kaip rašiau, jei tik nepalieku jų namie ;) Pastaruoju metu jos buvo apgyvendintos palto kišenėj, tai rečiau tenka snarglių klausytis…

    Nulaužtasparni, jei jau pastebėsite, kad kažkoki merga įlipa į trulą su bazuka, tai bėkit lauk greičiau - kai būnu tokios nuotaikos man jokie įspėjimai ne galvoj ;D

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